yes, please

Whatever happened to please and thank you?

Seriously, have you noticed the lack-of-basic-respect trend? So many people, young and old, seem to lack the ability (time?) to acknowledge others, or to respect efforts made on their behalf. I see it everywhere – at the kids’ school, in the grocery store or movie theater, at conventions and so on. I see it in kids and grown ups alike.

This bothers me.

Please and Thank You are not optional, they’re appropriate. As a parent, I hammer those concepts into my children – they need to respect and acknowledge other people. If you want something, say please. If you get something, say thank you. It’s simple, so simple my kids have been doing it since they could talk.

So what happened to the grown ups out there, the ones who are now raising their own children, the ones running businesses and creating our new society? Did they forget their manners?

Steve and I are often asked for help from other photographers, writers and entrepreneurs. Most of the request are, well, rude, consisting of something like this

Hi,

I want to know about [blank].

BTW, I’m considering buying your book/attending your workshop/ booking you for photos.

Bye.

More often than not, I ignore these, But on a good day, I’ll refer them to the book, workshop, etc for more information, knowing they were never going to buy it in the first place.

Sometimes, though, we get a message that is reasonably polite. It will start with some nice things, include a please, and so on. Those people take the time to put effort into their request, so I answer them.

Their reply? Nothing. Nada. Birds chirping in an empty field.

Maybe I’m old school, but it seems to me that if someone goes out of their way for you, they deserve to be thanked. Even if they are just doing their job, it doesn’t hurt to acknowledge them.

I go out of my way to be respectful to people, occasionally to my detriment, but that’s alright with me. It kills me a little bit each time I ignore an email or refuse to respond to a rude person. I don’t like feeling like I’m disrespecting someone, even if they disrespect me. Maybe that’s what’s happening in society – maybe all the polite people are starting to resent the rude/indifferent people, and responding in kind. Maybe it’s the worst kind of leading by example.

Do we want this? As the world gets more impersonally invasive, as we live our lives online rather than in person, and as we connect in such different ways, do manners still have a place? Are we trading our manners for efficiency in our communications? Are we that busy that writing one or two extra words will overwhelm our time management skills? Really?

How about a little respect? Yes, Please.

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